PHOTOGRAPH BY RICHARD GRAULICH / ZUMA / ALAMY@realDonaldTrump
Weak Hamlet should stop moaning about past and get on with his life. All talk, no action! King Claudius has my full support.
@realDonaldTrump
Tremendously fat honey thief Winnie-the-Pooh deserves to get stuck in Rabbit’s hole. Not crying for him, believe me, or low-energy Eeyore.
@realDonaldTrump
Small farmers need our support not meddling spiders ruining livestock sales. Creepy Charlotte should stick to catching flies!
@realDonaldTrump
Successful businessmen should be left alone by boring ghosts and sad employees. Bob Cratchit is a loser. No enthusiasm! Also . . .
@realDonaldTrump
Tiny Tim is a lazy con who manipulates media with whining. He should save “blessings” for himself. Pathetic!
@realDonaldTrump
Little Miss Muffet doesn’t deserve curds or whey if she can’t deal with a bug. No strength or stamina and her tuffet is a disgrace.
@realDonaldTrump
Deport Don Quixote with fat idiot Sancho Panza. We have enough problems without terrorists attacking energy plants.
@realDonaldTrump
No one is saying Owl and Pussycat can’t be together, just don’t rub it in our face. And the boat is an embarrassment!
@realDonaldTrump
Know from much experience Eastern European women are the most faithful in the world. Cheating Anna Karenina makes me sick!
@realDonaldTrump
Anyone who thinks a good relationship with Mordor is a bad thing is stupid. And crooked Frodo should return ring to rightful owner.
@realDonaldTrump
Wolf well within rights to evict disgusting pigs from below-code structures.
@realDonaldTrump
Overrated king’s horses and men are failed élites. Humpty Dumpty deserves better and will get it after Obamacare repeal.
@realDonaldTrump
Very Little Jack Horner’s biggest accomplishment: putting in thumb, pulling out plum. Sad!
@realDonaldTrump
Stepsisters deserve compensation for loss of employee. Shame on you, prince!
@realDonaldTrump
Mr. Samsa smart to throw apple at disgusting cockroach son, any father would. My sons will never turn into anything.
@realDonaldTrump
Better British schools and Hogwarts would fail on its own. Instead, England has disastrous witch problem. i won’t let it happen here!!!
@realDonaldTrump
Feel bad for amazing candy house after disgusting fat pigs Hansel and Gretel got through with it. Not nice! Admire witch’s restraint.
@realDonaldTrump
Rumpelstiltskin made a very smart business deal with miller’s daughter, distorted by fake news media.
@realDonaldTrump
Humbert Humbert is a degenerate and should be jailed. Also, Ivanka is ten times hotter than Lolita.
@realDonaldTrump
Hare was cheated in rigged race! Low-energy Tortoise continued during rest breaks. Not fair!
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